Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
