My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Congratulations! We have a period
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
