Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
