Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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