haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
