That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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