So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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