I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
