You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
