we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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