That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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