Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We had sex on a dog bed..
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
