i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
