It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
