I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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