I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
worst night to have a conscience
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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