This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
