I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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