his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
