There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
