is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
3pm strippers are depressing
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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