i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
