my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
