sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize