i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
