I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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