apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
