When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
