I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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