; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
