ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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