How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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