Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
