Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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