i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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