Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
