It's like a parade of train wrecks.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
