i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
