I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
