Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
