My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
