I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
