i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
