making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
