I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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