so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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