Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
