my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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