Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize