Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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