your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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