he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
