If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
