he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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