...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
