but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
