I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
