so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
