I'm really into asian looking animals
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
