It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
