Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
