Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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