hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
