I love black thongs
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
