So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
