Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
